For most and as the dictionary describes the word esoteric means mysterious. A couple of years ago I didn’t even know the word existed let alone what it meant. But when introduced to Universal Medicine and the way in which the word Esoteric was used in this context it made a lot of sense even if I couldn’t consciously comprehend it at the time.
My understanding of the word ‘Esoteric’ today can be likened to its Greek origins esōterikos meaning ‘within’ – not within a group or club that is excluded from everyone else but from within myself.
These days I feel like my life can be lived from one of two places – the mind or my whole body. Both can be very obvious is how they feel when compared to each other.
From the mind I am easily swayed and follow what a mental picture would have me believe is me making a wise choice based on what I have pictured is the truth or the best or right direction to go forward in life with.
From my whole body I feel life completely different and it’s in connection to my feelings that I am closer to the awareness of my Esoteric or ‘Inner most’ – a source of intelligence that is within my body.
Having reconnected to this esoteric part of me it has revealed over the last couple of years how much tension is created and how situations in life sometimes fall flat on my face, blow up or simply fizzle out by following the mental pictures of how life should be or how it should not. The expectancy of life to obey the pictures in my mind holds the world and truth of life to ransom. It locks me into a reduced way of life that merely has me existing in life rather than experiencing the joy that being connected to my body and inner-most, esoteric part of me, that can bring.
The modality Esoteric Yoga is like a megaphone for this experience of being connected to the body when compared to the mind as it offers the space to sink more deeply into the awareness that comes from feeling from within my body rather than being elsewhere in the mind.
After the session what I then do becomes more highlighted, anything from the mind is often rushed, brash, hard and disregarding – like power walking across my workplace as a waitress or slamming the car door.
Living my everyday life with a connection to my body doesn’t mean that I live in slow motion but there is a greater sense of taking care of myself and my environment and other people. I can walk with a decent pace but I am not drained afterwards and my feet don’t hurt. Doors are not slammed or objects thrown across the room without care but lovingly placed.
This connection and care that is reflected in how I move also gets transfered into how I am with others, when connected I can feel very loving, joyful and playful with others, or very honest with them rather than telling a lie. When disconnected and living from my mind I am none of this with myself or others.
I’ve also found that living from my mind I am not living from what feels true for my whole body to be living, this creates a lot of tension where as when I connect to what is within me then I know exactly what is required and what feels true for me.
Sometimes others don’t like this but I am learning that that inner settlement of following what I feel from within me rather than following that thought that says “That would be nice if you…” or “You/I should do that because….” “[Name] is doing ….. so you should …..” these thoughts are never ending in their doggedness and berating or harassing tone but the esoteric does not berate or harass, it simply shows me how to live life harmoniously. Even if sometimes I choose not to the esoteric within me is forever there and ready to be in everyday life when I am ready to stop following the pictures and assumptions.
The more I connect to the esoteric the more life makes sense and feels amazing.