Initially at the start of this article take a pause to read those two words ‘responsibility’ and ‘gaming’ – and register your perceptions, opinions, feelings, reactions or responses to each.
In my gaming days my relationship with both went like this:
Responsibility: Burden, overwhelm, restriction, tension, complicated, a ball and chain that I couldn’t escape as I grew up but always had something I could use to break away from it if but momentarily
Gaming: Carefree, Fun, Entertaining, relaxing, no responsibilities
But over time this relationship has changed with both words and even now I stop and question the fact that even though I would avoid responsibility I would play many games where in fact you are the one that is the hero, the one responsible for world changing events and situations. Something I never felt I had in life, that I was ‘The One’ that could change the world, assuming that changing the world the job for someone else or that I was not special enough to be considered as making an impact in a world that felt so burdensome and overwhelming.
This came from a lack of self-worth, I did not value myself as I grew up as we all do, parented and taught to believe that we are a blank slate and that we have to obtain knowledge from outside of ourselves rather than valuing what we are innately born with. The next whammy was that responsibility is the act of taking all that from outside us into and onto our shoulders. When looking at the world and looking back at myself that I believed had no value the idea of being a hero in this world was as realistic as a lead balloon!
But what if these perceptions and beliefs around both words are not true? Regardless of how many people say it is, what if it wasn’t? One basic example of this is no matter how many people say drinking is ‘good for them’, ‘there’s nothing wrong with it’, when the fact is, it is still a biological poison to the human body.
So then, what if responsibility was not a burden? What if it was something we are naturally born with, an ability to respond. But what are we responding to? And what are we responding with? Over the last couple of years I have been studying and experimenting with the fact that everything is energy and we require energy to live in life and that there are two types of energy, when presented with life’s situations one energy can have us react and blame, go off on a story of what’s happening and keep repeating that story over and over again to support it’s validity and the other energy allows us to respond, observe the situation, seek to understand and grow rather than remain in the same situation over and over again.
And gaming - if we have gotten a false picture of the world are we simply reacting to one fantasy world and going into another one? This was certainly the case for me because as I came to learn how to respond to life rather than react and take everything on face value as the truth without consulting my body as to weather it is true or if there’s more going on than meets the eye. The key to this picking apart what is true or supportive and what is not is developing through a connection to my inner senses, to my inner-heart and my whole body that can feel energy whereas the mind cannot.
By stopping to listen to my body and adhere to it’s directions such as going to the bathroom when needed, sleeping when tired. Bringing a focus to how gentle or rough my touch, grip or walk is, to the way I open doors or how the tone of my voice feels when speaking in varied situations. I am learning that my body does know about life far more than my mind does and what I think is going on. Having this inner navigation I am not confused or lost in life but more open, willing to develop deeper relationships with people, more committed to life and enjoying what each day brings. Situations that I once blamed and played a victim in no longer keep me in that ‘woe is me’ mentality and I appreciate even the rough patches as I know my body has the ability to support me regardless of what comes my way as a result of choices I have made.
I started to learn that the world isn’t the scary, overwhelming place that was bigger than me. I started to feel how I play a part in the world, I do make waves and for some I am the one that sparks off those life changing events for people.
When I started to feel this gaming suddenly wasn’t the amazing place to be, it felt like a reduced version of what is possible should we choose to be open to the fact that ‘what if life isn’t all it seems’.
What if we’ve gotten it the wrong way around? That a life of responsibility can be simple, freeing and simple and that gaming is the restrictive, blinding and complicating one? What if responsibility was everything that gaming proclaims to deliver such as being connected to others and making a difference in the world?